I have been here for now almost 4 months .. in the land of oppurtunity. It's a different issue that the oppurtunities have almost dried up. The name's stuck.
Well anyways, on my trip US, one particlar leg of the journey was between Mumbai and the French capital of Paris. I fortunately or unfortunately happened to have the company of an Indian [
Bihari ].
So there we were, both of us excited for the journey.
Hum: Hi, I am Phani
Tum: Me Rishikesh Jha.
Hum: So where are you going?
Tum: Cincinati, hum software engineer hain.. Client ne humko bulaaya hai
Hum: Oh, you must be very important then.
Tum: Haan woh to hai, whole project ka work hum hi jo sambhalte hain
Hum: Which company do you work for?
Tum: Nomadic Solutions, pichle 13 mahinon se... college se nikalte hi campus placement ho gaya tha.
Hum: hmmm, itni jaldi onsite mil gaya?
Tum: Ab kya bataayen, mera Manager meri bhabhi ki shister ke husband ka phrend hai.
Mana karne par bhi hum hi ko bhej diya.
Hum: Good. To yeh pehli baar hai .. haan?
Tum: Haan... par kya farak padta hai.. hame sab pata hai.
Hum: matlab.. jaise?
That was probably the worst mistake I did on this leg of the journey for I had to undergo torture, listening on how to drive on the right side of the road, say only "hi" in reply to a "hi", gas means petrol, "to go" means parcel at a restaurant. How to fill up my I-94 "phaaram" and all other trivial details which made me wonder if this Jha saaheb was born in the US [ABCD type].
Then came the changeover at Paris.
Tum: Are suno, hamara bag dekhenge aap? Ham tanik phone karke aate hain ghar ko.
Hum: Akele kya karunga yahaan.. main bhi chalta hoon
Another big mistake.. thinking about which I still turn red with embarrassment.
Tum: Thik hai chalo. Yahaan par franc use hota hai.. Indian rupee nahi chalega. Agar tumhe bhi phone karna hai to Amex se "daallar" le lo.
Hum: No, it's ok.
Near a phone booth.
Tum: Achha aap wait kariye hum phunwa ke aate hain.
Hum: ok
As I look on, he chats with a "May I help you" person who's jaws fall open in astonishment. Not being in hearing proximity I conclude some English-French communication problem.
Tum: Saalon ko kuch nahi pata. Chalo aur kisi jagah try karte hain.
Hum: ok
Another phone booth. This time I am near to Jha saheb.
Tum: Hello sir, I want STD
operator:
(jaws opened in astonishment)Tum:
(loudly) Excuse me.. anybody can help me.. I am wanting to get STD.
dhud.. chunk.... patak
All I saw was disarray of baggages, plates, cups and other such items on the floor strewn from the hangs of people with a look of "a lightening bolt just struck me".
I motioned him and started walking away.. all red with embarrassment. STD!!!! how could he say that.
Our next flight was being announced and luckily our seats were at the diagonal end of the economy cabin and that was the last of him that I saw or wish to see again.
Epilogue
As I write this today for those of you who do not understand the enormity of Jha saheb's asking, I will reproduce his email which I left unanswered.
Hi Phani,
Your company was nice in the plane. I recently met an accident while mistakingly taking the left side of the road instead of the right.
I am recovered now. I made a long distance call and talked to my parents and they are all ok. I now understand what STD means here. Because you were so close, I thought I shoud tell you so that you do not make this mistake.
In India STD means Subscriber Trunk Dialling. But in US, STD means Sexually Transmitted Diseases. In Paris, I had said I wanted STD. How funny.
Hope you will take care not to use the STD word in US.
Do tell me if you have any problems. I know lot of people and I can help you.
with regards
R. Jha
Nomadic Solutions