One of my weekly visits to Walmart and a phone call I received later stirred up this blog.
It was not long ago - about three summers back, I think. It was then that I had set my foot in Bangalore. Slowly found my groove there and settled down. Weekends was a time to be spent in malls and shopping complexes. One of my such weekends awakened me to a freaky concept. I was in a store, doing (don't remember) window shopping or real shopping along with my roomie. As is common in such places, we bumped into a guy (let's call him Rakesh Sinha) who out of no particular reason seemed interested in us. He took our address and phone nos. and all.
Having received my visiting cards recently, I was all the more enthu about giving them out to anybody who remotely looked interested in them. So I happily parted with some cards and there it came to an end, atleast I had thought so.
Until the next weekend, when the doorbell rang - ting tong and I pulled myself out from my late afternoon slumber.
I opened the door and there stood Mr Rakesh.. all binaca smile.
Me: Aaaaaa, yes?
He: Hi, You remember me?.. Rakesh... We met at Food World last sunday.
Me: Ah... oh.. hi.
Ok, I might have made up this guy meeting us at food world, for I do not remember how he came to our house. But what follows is true.
So continued the niceties, till he forced himself into my own house.
He: Hope I have not disturbed you.
Me: Well you are here now. What brings you here?
He: Before I begin that, lets sit down
Me: Please make yourself comfortable.
I was sitting on the only chair in the house and left the whole floor of the hall to him [athithi devo bhava]. He shamelessly sat down and I, owing to my right-wing upbringing, obliged to sit down next to him. My roommate had also joined me by then, apparently equally peeved by the new encroacher of our space and time.
So he continued about his business plan and how in a couple of years time we would be earning close to 25 lakhs per year doing nothing - yes doing nothing. That was a bolt from blue.. for my roomie at least - he is one of those guys who thinks his sleepy little town has the best things to offer in this world and everything else anywhere is crap (yeah the Bareilly airport fame one or the official Lapis cup scorer- for those of you who know him). He was all ears and I was all sleep. So he continued and I dragged myself through the session - till I heard the name Amway.
Me: Oh... all this was about Amway?
He: Yes, and it is really wonderful. Believe me.
Me: ok.. but I don't want to sell toothpaste!
He: No we have other products also.
Me: Ok.... I don't want to sell toothpaste and shaving cream.
He: See you do not know much about it. We have an inspirational talk tomorrow and I am offering you the tickets at an exclusive price of Rs 250.
My friend gets up, goes in and gets those few green notes.
He: Here are your tkts and a cassette absolutely free. And what about you Phani?
I made up an excuse that I had an urgent project delivery to be done on that day (or something like that). He was not about to let me go that easily. I somehow convinced him that I always had the audio cassettes to listen to.
My roomie never went to that talk.. thanks to my enlightening conviction of what a bootless enterprise it would be to sell toothpaste.
So went a few other months and this time (truely) another guy picks us up.
He: Hi My name is xxxx and i work for yyyy
Me: Hi
He: So what do you do in your free time
Me: Sleep
He: and
Me: sleep
He: ok (smiles). Can I have your phone no?
Me: Why?
He: I have a business...
Me: (cutting him) Amway?
He: err.. aaa... yes
Me: Thank you, but not interested.
This time I managed to stage a virginal walk away.
A few more months later one of my other roomie's walks in after work and describes excitingly about a guy who is going to come in the next day. This guy met him in food world (yeah same one as the one above) and apprised him of some of his entrepreneurial ideas. Well, the next day he comes as expected and we all sit down.
Well who doesn't like some extra money in their hands.
He starts off and proceeds to explain graphs - same graphs as the one described by Mr Sinha leading to Rs. 25 LPA.
Me: Excuse me.. is this about Amway?
He: (looks shocked - on how the cat came out of the bag so soon).. err.. ummmm...
I am out of the house before he says an yes.
From then on any stranger who tried to befriend me and immediately asked my address and phone nos. got a piece of my mind (a guy in our neighbourhood Udupi Upahaar was one of the victims) - atleast until this happened in the US of A.
In Walmart, it is not difficult to find a fellow Indian, as he would be in the same parts of the store as you are in and then follow you - makes you feel like a magnet. So this guy walks up to us, introduces himself as a Mr kkk (yes he says "I am Mr. kkk" - I thought the salutation was for someone else to use for us). As of real name, I have to hide the name in case I end up in legal lawsuit - you never know in USA. We reciprocate the niceties and he asks my phone nos. My radar picks up some disturbing signals but my processor junks them as invalid fears.
So another week past by and I had already received 3 calls from Mr. kkk - luckily each time I was not available. But the fourth time he caught me. He explained his new startup buisness and he was looking for some new enthusiastic guys (read me). I had butterflies in stomach. In the next half an hour with great difficulty I refused his proposition citing various reasons that I conjured up.
But then I have had it. No stranger is going to walk up to me anymore and get my address and phone no.
Mr Amway or a stranger in the USA
Nay nay, all I would say is stay away.
And if anyone of you happen to be in the shoes of Mr. Sinha or Mr. kkk, please do not bug people. Let them know what you are up to. If they are interested they will welcome you. But don't assume everyone warms up to the idea of your enterprise.
If you continue doing this, it won't be long before newspapers carry headlines like:
Amway cultist loses mind as mob gives him a piece of theirs.
Stranger gets beaten in market for soliciting phone nos.Don't say you weren't forewarned.
And yeah Mr Sinha's audio cassettes still lie somewhere in the attic of our house in Bangalore - never opened condition - any takers?